NOTE: this is a long write up but if you read through you will learn something I can assure you. You may also share with someone it may be helpful to them. Happy reading to you.
Resolutions always come in battalions when the new approaches and sometimes people set targets to achieve. I am not a student of making resolutions once in a year. I think it makes one static or limiting.
However, I do make resolutions every day and it’s just one Let the next moment be better than the previous. With that set, I lived my life in 2022 using these principles and keys which I feel I should share with you all.
Slow down when things are messy and everyone is running
We all have those moments so much adrenaline would rush in an push us into action when the circumstances get murky and we hear so many times people say to us to calm down but the truth is, it is not really easy to calm down when they poke that thing in your nose and you know you need to break a bone or two to show who you are and earn some respect. Yeah, that is really a pretty thing but there is much more to being calm when things get out of hand than avoiding the chances to ruin your reputation. This is crazy sometimes but trust me, the best moments to spot your way out is to relax when everyone is tensed. Calm down when the situation is getting out of hand. In that relaxed state I’m able to see the mistakes others are making, spot my own wrong directions and process multiple scenarios by linking them. I often arrive good even if late. The goal isn’t to get there first but well. That has shot me out of way pretty bigger troubles this year than the ones that started the panic.
Say nothing to anyone when very angry
Yes, anger is a good friend. I remember one time I sat and took note of the things I say at confessions and anger was all through them all the time. I began to get worried but then I realised anger was a good shepherd. It is the part of you that hates to take what is less but the best. So I knew it was only when I let it control me that’s where I say or do things that aren’t pleasing. Since then, I’ve worked so hard to be very less active in conversation or actions that will likely cause damage when I’m angry. Best thing, stay low. It was a best companion a never had in different ways.
Read, write, play music, watch something good
Throughout 2022 especially getting into the end of the second quarter, I was going down. I would sit down feeling empty, weak and looked almost hopeless. But what saved me was I read anything that came my way, wrote anything that came to mind, listened to music and watched documentaries, comedy and very rarely, movies. They weren’t the cure I probably thought I needed but they helped me find the cure which was within me. You could request from your friends books recommendations or just use Google. If you are not a student of reading this will look out of place for you but no one was born a magician of anything. Everything that anyone ever became a master in it was all down to practice and commitment so if you desire and commit yourself to read a chapter a day, you will get this trick.
Identify your triggers/stressors and act to pre-empt them
The failures or breaking points in our lives are caused by things we either did or said or experienced in the past. They could be people, results or things. Those things do not come to haunt us directly but other things tickle us to get back to such memories. So I identified what caused me to be sad, late, lazy, unproductive, mean, etc and I did my best to avoid those triggers. I found peace away from them. It takes patience and a conscious effort to understand the triggers but it is no rocket science. If I could do it, you too can.
Bear no grudges or regrets over decisions you can’t undo
I easily get incensed but I have found a way to let go easily. That could be down to my personality as Aries but it’s also down to a personal decision to always look ahead instead of dwelling on the past. I do remind my friends if they keep repeating past mistakes and I also punish myself for repeating past mistakes. I remind myself of lessons of the past because they become experiences or skills for the future but I don’t keep asking if I had done this where would I’ve been or what would have happened. Those can’t be or happen again now that I didn’t do them so what’s the point in living them again? I believe whatever decisions I made, they were the best at the moment and that I had no better options then that is why I made such decisions so I just move on and train myself to make a better decision in the next situation. Be bold and humble to ask for forgiveness. Tell people you’re sorry when you are wrong. I said it uncountable times in 2022. It didn’t make me look weaker or stupid. It made me look mature, relieved and at peace with myself. You also will save so many relationships by that action aside from saving yourself.
Talk to God
I’ve failed a number of times to be in church this year but I always remembered to talk to God even if it was for a minute or less. Whether you call him God, Allah or whoever, there’s a greater power beyond humans that controls the existence of the universe. So remember to talk to that super power you believe in. You will always find light. I did and I’ve found directions so many times where darkness was the only option. If I spoke to him and found light, you too would get if you do.
Do not run away from what hurts
If you ever have been close to me you will know that when everyone has given up I still always think there’s a way out. That resilience has kept me through. I saw options that if I chose would bring me pain but I looked beyond the pain and chose them. I’ve not regretted because I went hard for them and remain relentless. So are you sitting down lamenting or hoping for a miracle in your life because the road you want to take is rough? Just take it already and move. It only hurts but does not kill.
BONUS: Take care of your mental health
This is perhaps one of the most important things for me in 2022. I’ve always heard of mental health and have read about depression, anxiety and PSTD but I saw them as vague. However in 2022, I felt it was beyond just medical terms. I found myself in situations I had no clues how I got there. I found myself talking to friends who were walking down roads they never knew what was actually happening or taking them there. And I saw many people suffer things they have no idea what they were. After considering the scenarios and making some further research people were going through so much mentally including me. It came from different angles; others were work, some were financial, some others were relationship and family while others were academic and a lot more.
I realised we often put our bodies and brains through so much that they become so tired to carry on. You could take energy drinks when your body is tired but is there any of that in the market for your brain? I came to realize that a tired brain was a sick brain and a sick brain was a sick person. I realized that most of the times that I got so aggressive on people or on myself it was not because they were wrong or I was wrong but because my mind was so tired I could not even process simple things. It made work very difficult and I barely achieved anything good. You see yourself performing below your own standards and you begin to get worried. It’s normal to fall into the dark due to what you process or go through everyday.
However, a failure to understand that your mental health needs attention is a prescription for doom. I did save myself early by noticing what I needed to do. Books, music, writing, talking to positive people, celebrating the wins however small they were and maintaining a positive mindset about myself saw me through 2022.
Dear friend, this list is not exhaustive but I’m sure this will help someone out there to prepare for 2023. We learn by our own experiences and that of others so I’ve decided to share mine so you could learn. You may share yours too. I will read and also learn. If this does not interest you, just share with someone. It may interest them.
CHEERS TO 2023