Trotro Diaries: An Every Day Thing – 13
Piiiiiiiiiii! Piiiiiiiiiii!!
The sun had long disappeared from the sky. It was a moonless night and the darkness that follows such nights was interrupted only by the city lights. However, it was not a consolation for neither Red nor Massa. The bus has been held up in traffic for almost two hours on the highway with no hope of a breakthrough.
Restless drivers were beginning to get angry and impatient as the minutes ticked away with little progress. Horns were blowing left and right with drivers trying to achieve the impossible.
Piiiiiiiiiii! Piiiiiiiiiii!!
“Good evening my good people! I pray that the Good Lord will bless everyone on this bus tonight!”.
From the sound of it, a preacher on the bus thought that it was the best time to bring salvation to the people on the bus with hopeful words and prayers.
There were two men seated behind Red that however did not think so.
“These medicine sellers eh, kw3 kw3 their bus hopping is becoming unprecedented oh!”
“True talk friend and if they are not careful, we will mark their faces, after all, levels don change!”
Both men were whispering behind their nose masks in a gossip fashion. If it was a scene in a Nigerian movie, they would have been playing the role of village local radio.
“Levels don change oh brother! Just look at him”.
Pointing quickly at the man still talking in front of the bus, the bald one dropped his hand as if afraid to draw the preacher’s attention to him. “ That is how they always start their sales”.
“Very soon he will switch from God to buy this product and buy that wear”. The potbelly quickly completed his newfound friend’s statement. Their meeting was obviously staged by the heavens.
Red, who had been listening in on the two gossiping passengers, was starting to enjoy his night, all of a sudden, a bolder person from the last seat at the back shouted at the preacher to wear his nose mask.
“Mini! How you go cam stand for people head top dey talk s000r wey you no cava face?”
The preacher was not wearing a face mask. He did not even use a kerchief as a shield-like most do. Red, who had been feeling sorry for himself earlier, now felt very sorry for the passengers seated in front of the preacher.
“My brother, I am not just a preacher of God’s word. I am also a medicine specialist!”.
“Oyewaa!” Potbelly laughed like an evil brother will do in a movie when he succeeds in poisoning his brother.
Both men laughed softly to themselves after one of them said that they wanted to see Red shake in fear.
“Let me assure you my brother”, the preacher continues. “The virus called corona is not, cannot, and will never be a problem for someone like me!”.
“Aaaaah!”
The bus was filled with ooohs and aaahs at the man’s boldness.
“Yes! Corona cannot affect me!”. The confident preacher boasted proudly.
“Massa if Corona no go catch you, we all for the bus inside nakai?” The eyes of every passenger in the facemask were now looking at the preacher waiting to hear what he would say.
Like someone who has been looking for gold for a long time and finally found it, the man happily fished out a bottle from a bag that looked like it was stolen from the 30s to the present time. He raised the bottle up showing it to the passengers.
“This is the reason why coronavirus cannot affect me!” Eagerly, the preacher opened the bottle and scooped out some powder substance into a spoon he removed from the same bag, all the while praising the powder mixture as having many healing qualities. He poured free samples into the palms of willing passengers to lick.
“Corona will run away from you too ONLY if you buy this natural supplement that cures small sickness like Corona. Don’t trust those fake vaccines made by white people because only Ataa Naa knows what is inside. Buy this homeland made remedy at an affordable price!”.
“How we for take kai sey you no dey mafia we s00r?”
This time the preacher did not look happy with the man playing Anas Aremyaw.
Preacher felt persecuted and looked angry too but then the Rasta guy raised his shoulders and crossed his arms on the seat in front of him. Rasta gave the preacher a challenging look as if saying ‘try me and see”.
Both men stared at each other, one with a challenge and the other swallowing very hard.
To be continued…….new episode every WEEKEND. Subscribe to receive notifications. Leave your comments below.
By Jamila Abdul Wahab Follow on Twitter @activetvgh
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